We all have those defining moments in our lives. Moments that forever change the way we live and view our existence. One such major event happened in my life towards the end of January. For six weeks I’ve avoided blogging about this event, mainly because the devastation was too real and the pain was all too acute. A month and a half has now passed and I feel as though I can share my pain with you all now.
You may want to ask small children to leave the room because this news is upsetting. Brace yourselves. Here goes: Captain and Tennille are divorcing.
I’ll give you a minute to pull yourself together … actually, I’ll give you a couple of minutes to gather your thoughts as this news? Is shocking.
I cannot overstate the importance of Captain and Tennille in my life. I owned exactly two albums in the 70s: Sesame Street Fever and Captain and Tennille’s Greatest Hits. I played Sesame Street Fever a lot on my Fisher Price record player, but I wore out Captain and Tennille.
I loved everything about this album (except one song, but more on that later), from the front cover to the back. Just look at that album cover! Its beautiful in all of its 70s glory. The cover really is a timeless piece of artwork. It’s quite possibly the most elegant and classy album that I ever owned and the font used for their names is quite snazzy. I loved it at the age of five in 1977 and I still love it today.
Plus, let’s not forget that my adoration of a Miss Toni Tennille extended to her haircut. My mom let me get my hair cut just like Tennille’s hair. (See photo above this post’s title, on the far right). For way more years than I’m comfortable admitting, my hair was an exact replica of hers. Sharing the same hair do and singing her songs was the closest I could come to actually being Toni Tennille.
And oh, the songs! I loved their songs. The lyrics, the melodies. Swoon. Their music simply spoke to me. Fun fact: Captain and Tennille’s Greatest Hits remains the only set of music that I’ve owned in four different formats: album, cassette tape, CD, and on iTunes. There may have been a copy on 8-track, but I’m a bit fuzzy on that detail.
What can I say? Captain and Tennille just got me and all of my five year old angst.
Most people will tell you that Muskrat Love is the quintessential Captain and Tennille song. Listen up: Those. People. Are. Wrong. Nibbling on bacon? Chewing on cheese? Sam says to Suzie, Honey would you please be my Mrs.? Nope. I learned nothing from Muskrat Love other than perhaps Captain and Tennille should lay off Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom. And maybe set some traps in their apartment.
But the song Shop Around? Now that’s a song full of great wisdom. Oh yes, my pre-school self totally needed to know about keeping my freedom for as long as I could, about shopping around before settling down with one guy, and not to be sold on the very first one. Just as sure as the wind’s gonna blow, men are gonna come and men are gonna go. It’s better to make sure he’s in love with you, girl. Good looking guys are a dime and dozen, try to find one that’s gonna give good lovin’. Great advice, am I right?
My most favorite song on the entire album (and on the entire planet until I discovered Jessie’s Girl in 1981) was Love Will Keep Us Together. Words cannot adequately express how much I adored this song (and still do). I may or may not have even worked up an amazing dance routine to this song. (I did, I totally did. And it was amazing.)
Much like the title suggests, the lyrics to that song were about love being enough to keep a couple together. Sweet talkin’ girls whose looks will some day be gone might try to come between the couple but if you hear with your heart, you won’t hear a sound and love will keep us together. See this? Right here? Is everything a pre-schooler needs to know about life and love.
Which makes it all the more devastating that Captain and Tennille are calling it quits. There’s a good chance I might not recover.