I Should Know Better Than To Bet A Twelve Year Old

My youngest daughter surveyed my Room O’Funk with a critical eye. Her gazed landed squarely on what can only be described as the giant pile of crafting crap taking up a solid forty percent of the empty floor space.

She sighed and said, “You know not all of this … stuff … is going to fit into your new cabinets. Dad should have made them bigger. Or made four cabinets instead of two. I feel for ya, Mom.” She patted me on the back and started to walk away.

“Oh, it’ll all fit,” I declared confidently. “All of this stuff, everything you see, will totally fit in my new cabinets.”

My husband had spent the past several months hand crafting two matching free-standing cabinets to go in my Room O’Funk. They are nothing short of stunning and I consider myself to be the luckiest girl in the world.

mission style cabinets

“No, it won’t. Your stuff won’t fit,” my youngest declared.

Taking the bait, I said, “Oh yes. Yes it will.”

“Nope. Not a chance.”

“Yep. Care to make it interesting?”

My child looked intrigued and frankly, I knew I had her. My kid loves to gamble. She can’t resist a good bet. Or a bad one. But that’s a story for a different time.

“Okay,” I began, “I think all of my crafting supplies will fit in the new cabinets and I’m willing to put something on the line.”

“Fifty bucks?” she asked excitedly.

Giving her a slight bit of the ol’ Stink Eye, I said, “Really? Fifty bucks? No. Let’s not bet money, that’s too pedestrian. Let’s go for something bigger. Like if I win and all my treasures fit inside the cabinets, you have to …”

“What?” she asked. “What do I have to do?”

“Well … I don’t quite know yet. I’m waiting for inspiration to strike,” I answered.

“Oh. Well then, I’m headed to the couch,” she said. “No offense, but it could take a while for inspiration to strike you. I’ve got my bet all figured out. If I win, meaning not all of your stuff fits, I get to plan dinner for the week. And I’m planning only stuff I like, which means no salmon, no pasta, and no salad.”

Ooo. That’s a good bet. Homegirl hates salmon, pasta, and especially salad. Salad is her dinnertime nemesis.

“Okay. If you win, you can plan a week’s worth of dinners. That’s six days of eating at home and one day of dining out. But you can’t list pizza for all six nights. Or hot dogs. It has to be six different meals. But if I win, you have to sweep out my Honda.”

“But I hate sweeping out the car. It’s the worst job ever,” she whined.

“No, the worst job ever is being the guy that has to drive along in a truck scooping up dead animals off of the city streets in the August heat,” I countered. “Sweeping out the car is a close second. Deal?”

My kid took a few seconds to ponder. “Yeah,” she said. “Deal. But let’s get the details ironed out in a formal document. You know how I like to cheat.”

It’s true. She will totally cheat and/or change the rules of a game to ensure herself a victory. This aspect of her personality completely dilutes the fun of Uno, frisbee golf, and Mario Kart. (How does one cheat at Mario Kart? One unplugs her opponent’s game controller before starting the game.) Getting the details down in a formal written document, complete with signatures from at least two witnesses, is a great idea.

I’ll spare you from having to read the entire document, but the gist is that all my crafting treasures had to fit in the new cabinets with the doors shut (this is key) and said document was signed and dated by myself, my kid, and two witnesses.

Then panic set in as I didn’t realize how much stuff I had until I had to deal with every. single. item.

I may or may not have freaked out a little. (I did)

I may or may not have made plans with the oldest child to hide stuff in her room if it did not fit inside my cabinets. (I did not, but I freely admit to giving the notion some serious thought)

I may or may not have cursed my inability to walk past a clearance aisle at the local craft stores without making a purchase. (I did) (More than once)

Later this week I’ll let you know how the bet ended because right now? I’ve got to get crack-a-lacking on moving my crafting paraphernalia from the floor into my new cabinets.